1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Fuck this!” and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Answer the exam in white-out.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are you? Where’s the regular guy?”
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what’s going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious… like history notes for a calculus exam… otherwise you’re not just failing, you’re getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, “Okay, let’s double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E….”
34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting “What? I’m on my way!!”. rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
39. If asked to write an essay, doodle a bit and hand the paper in. When you get questioned on why you didn’t write anything, just say “A picture is wort a thousand words.”
40. If you’re in a maths exam and you get a triangle with “find x”, put a circle around ‘x’ with an arrow, and write, there it is.
41. Bring your imaginary friend. Argue with your imaginary friend about which answer is truly correct. 20 minutes into the exam have a very heated arguement with your imaginary friend, throw down your pencil and shout “Why don’t YOU write it then?!!”
42. Get your test, wait 15 minutes then whip out your cell and call whoever it doesn’t really matter then when the teacher asks you what your doing say “OBVIOUSLY I’m calling my brain…duh” then start asking questions that are on the test.
43. Go straight in, do the first question, then loudly put your exam paper down and sit staring smugly forwards for about 45 minutes. Then look back at the paper and scream ‘OH MY GOD THERE’S MORE THAN ONE QUESTION’ and make loud scribbling noises for the rest of the time.
44. Answer the exam with the “Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks”
45. Sit there for about 10 minutes, then stand up, pushing your chair back in the process, hold your head and yell “SHUTUP IM TRYING TO TAKE THIS EXAM!!!!” , then run out arguing with “the voices inside your head”.
46. Run into the room lookin all panicked and scream ” The iraqis have invaded. Save yourselves!!”
47. Stare at the teacher when you get your exam. Continue staring. Every time they notice you, tilt your head to the right very slightly and widen your eyes a bit more. If they finally ask you what’s going on, say you haven’t slept for 11 days because you’ve been stressed out about this exam. At the end of the exam, which you have not completed because you’ve been too busy staring, drop dead.
48. Pick another person in the class that is very smart, almost always gets A’s, and that the teacher likes. Write “ask [smart student's name]” as the answer.
49. Glue the pages of your exam together, and argue vehemently that you deserve full marks on the basis that every answer could be correct.
50. Put 100 dollars in the answer booklet.
51. Randomly call out “I’d like to use my Fifty-Fifty/Ask the Audience/Phone a Friend”.
52. Every few minutes, tag someone near you and yell “TAG YOU’RE IT!”. See how many people you can get to pass it on.
53. Fill your exam with a suicide note in very bold marker pen. Hand it in open to the im going to kill my self part then procede to stand on the desk at the front, turn your belt into a noose and attatch it to some thing high see if the examiner tries to talk you down.
54. Yoga.
55. Go into a really, REALLY large class, like a big lecture class where the teacher/TA won’t know if you belong or not and put someone else’s name on the name line. Then proceed to take to the exam as if you were a student in that class. Lol, the teacher will be wicked confused when they get two exams for one student.
56. Answer the exam in invisible ink. Put a note on the first page to inform the examiners that you have done so with instructions on how to view the writing. Be as verbose in your answers as possible.
57. After about half an hour ask for some more paper regardless of how much you have written, then look at everyone else panicking as they think they have not written anywaywhere near enough.
58. Cross a question out and write a new one. Answer it wrong.
59. To a question “Explain why…”, just answer “Why not?!”
60. Bring your iPod Video to the examination room and start watching something funny. Make sure to laugh extra LOUD.
Tags: Answer Sheet, Bad Case, Bathrobe, Christmas, Conflicts, Cr, Exam Room, Game Boy, Instructor Hands, Jerk, Lost, Max Level, Merry Christmas, Protest, Religious Beliefs, Secret Documents, Sigh Of Relief, Slippers, Small Pieces, Yell
men lah khelg yegra kel hatha! chan 76aitay 10 10 10 10 10 10 !